Trust Everything Happens for a Reason...Yeah right!!
I like to think that I know how to act and speak accordingly for different scenarios. I believe that somehow, I can control a situation or an outcome. My mantra is that I can always muscle through something. Experience has taught me and life likes to constantly remind me that I am weak.
Weak, dumb, annoying, ugly, slow: these horrid adjectives are just a few that play on repeat in my head for motivation. Sadly they had become habitual and destructive. These negative thoughts were and are a part of my stumbling block on my journey in life; inhibiting me from being myself and the person God intended me to be. If only I could get out of my own way to be on my journey toward something truly great.
I found myself reading self-help books, motivational speeches, finding your inner self articles, and learning about astrology signs. I also took several tests to figure out what my talents were and where I could fit into the world. See right there, that’s the problem. Too long I tried to “fit in” to find a “place” or a “set trajectory” to follow. Why?! Because being a trailblazer, is hard and asks for resilience and perseverance. Too often I would take the path of least resistance and every time I did, I ended up dissatisfied and right back where I started.
I know this sounds like rambling rant but trust me there is a point. “Man’s Search for Meaning”; the title of this famous work truly encompasses my dilemma. This is a struggle we all deal with. We are all called to a higher purpose. One that cannot be fulfilled through a career, money, titles, degrees, relationships or things. It is something that calls us outside of ourselves to see through the eyes of our fellow man. This calling is God. He wants to bring us to him which is why we will always be dissatisfied with the things of this world.
Great, so now what?! Am I supposed to trust that everything will work out and that God has a plan for me? Yes! Even though I am typing this half halfheartedly, yes. And all of this relocating, changing career ideas, changing jobs, living in multiple places, is for a reason? Well I don't truly understand the plan now but I believe there is a purpose. I believe this to be true from my experiences; meeting the amazing people in my journeys, reconnecting with old friends and family, seeing beautiful cities and eating incredible food. All of these encounters have helped me become empathetic and able to connect with people. These encounters are the little miracles, sprinkled throughout my life that enable me to believe that there is a plan.
Does this mean I know what the plan is or how everything will work out? No, and to be honest that sounds overwhelming. So God, I am going to Trust in You, that everything happens for a reason and will work out in the end. It is far to exhausting to plan everything and try to figure it out on your own. Let it go and trust.
“Do not be afraid of Christ” - Pope Benedict XVI